Starting Your Dreams Later In Life and Embracing the Detour

Jenee Darden speaking at Creative Mornings I know it's been a while since I've posted anything but that's because of my job. I'm working as a reporter covering Oakland and I host an arts segment on the radio where I get to interview amazing artists from around the Bay Area. Plus I'm publicizing my book  and building my speaking career!  You know what's funny? I thought this would all happen by the time I was 27-30.  Nope. That wasn't God's plan for me. I'm finally beginning to do the things I've wanted to do and I'm almost 40 years old. Some people reading this who are 40 will say 40 is still young. But some younger people reading may think 40 is nearly ancient. But I'm writing this post for those who like me, thought their career and personal dreams would come true much early in life. I'm here to tell you not to give up.  You know, death inspires life. A number of my relatives and friends have passed away, ranging in
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Girl Take Time for Your Mind...Tune Out the Mess

Photo by Ana Labate, stock.xchng
Other people and their problems can drive you up.the.wall. Only if you allow it. We're right in the middle of Mental Health Awareness Month. And something that has kept my mind right is telling people, "I don't want to hear that sh!t." Remember that post?

 A family member, who is concerned about a relative of ours because they've been making the same bad choices for 15 years, kept going on and on about this relative during a phone call.  I've been hearing about this person and their foolishness for 15 years. And guess what? That's right, I didn't want to hear that mess. So I told them to stop. Adults know right from wrong. If the person wants to change, they will.  And when they do, I will support them. In the meantime, I can't worry about the relative. I have to take care of my issues. And I've learned worrying doesn't do any good. It doesn't change things. It just makes you look like how the woman must feel in the photo. I was accused of being too tough because I wasn't worrying about the person and didn't want to hear about their drama. Am I concerned? Yes. Worried? I can't live that life.

And so we switched the conversation to another subject. I don't think depriving myself of peace of mind to hear nearly 2-decade old foolishness means I'm "too tough." It just means I care about myself and I'm taking care of myself. Stand up for yourself ladies and tune out the mess.


Comments

  1. UnknownMay 17, 2013 at 10:48 AM

    I couldn't agree with this more. Relatives who are lost on their path always expect you to save them and make them a number 1 priority when they are in trouble. Yet the truth is that you cannot make them a priority when you're just an after thought. It's as simple as that. I too just wait until they start getting their lives together. Great Post!

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    1. Jenee DardenMay 21, 2013 at 1:00 AM

      Thank you for your feedback! It's tough to say no to relatives or even friends. And I'm not saying not to help your family. But when it's affecting your health, your peace, your sanity sometimes you may have to say "no." And if you have that relative who keeps messes up because they know they have you to fall back on, then they're not making you a top priority.

      This is off topic, but I went to your website, and I LOVE your hair. Gorgeous!

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  2. Brenda55May 21, 2013 at 1:45 PM

    I just went through a conversation like this and had to cut it short. The person being discussed is in her late fifties. Now what the heck is anyone supposed to do with a person that age who keeps screwing up?

    Sorry I just can't so I don't.

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    1. Jenee DardenMay 22, 2013 at 2:21 PM

      Good question! And if they've been screwing up for a long time, how long do you give so much of yourself to help them? Or is your helping them, hindering them for change? Some people screw up, knowing they have someone to fall back on so they don't change.

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  3. MrsDivaJune 14, 2013 at 9:04 PM

    I'm pretty much in this situation now. I have a very close relative who just won't do what he is supposed to do. The rest of the family is all turning to me, and I am just sick and tired of it all. I have my own problems and just can't dwell on trying to fix his.

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  4. Jenee DardenJune 20, 2013 at 11:03 PM

    That's a tough situation. And I feel you on having your own problems to worry about. I was in a similar situation. I hope you do what's best and take care of yourself.

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